Thursday, April 12, 2012

One More Attempt!!!

     Well I am going to try to stop smoking yet again.  I have tried several times in the past but have never been able to kick this bad habit.  I know I will feel so much better if I could just stop.  I am going to take chantix again.  I hate taking this because of all the side affects but it does work.  Last time I was smoke free for 6 months.  I was really stupid to start back.  My main problem is once I stop I can not be around any one else that smokes because it drives me crazy.  So wish me luck!!!!!!  Until later.................

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Been A Long Time

  Well it has been a really long time since I have written anything.  So much has happened in the mean while that I really don't know where to start.  I guess the first thing is that my daughter got married on October 6, 2011.  I was not able to be there and it nearly killed me.  The one special day that mother and daughter can spend together was not to happen.  She did come home at Christmas for 5 days but it is now April 10, 2012 and I miss her something terrible.  To make matters worse she is going to have to have surgery.  She is getting her gall bladder removed soon.  And I won't be able to be there either.  I know she is happy but I wish she could be happy here in the states instead of Canada.  lol
   The next big thing to happen in my life is finding out that my dad has stage 4 prostate cancer.  He is taking it pretty well.  But at times he gets down.  Me?  I am not taking it very well at all.  He had surgery where they went in and froze the prostate.  We will have to wait to see if this will help.  Some of the test and treatments he can't do because of his heart problem and all the medicine he is on.  He has a pace maker and a defibulator. 
   So needless to say I have a lot on my mind.  I am having problems sleeping.  I am already on anti depression medicine.  I go back to the doctor in May and I am going to see is she can either change it to something else or add something to what I am taking.  I don't even get dressed a lot of days.  I am sick or just don't feel good all the time.  I have allergies and they are terrible.  It seems like I have a sinus infection every other month.  I really don't know what to do to get me out of this funk.  Hopefully I will feel better soon.  If not?  Oh well I guess we will just have to wait and see.  Until next time...................................

Friday, September 2, 2011

What Is Wrong With People These Days???

I often ask this question....and I can not figure it out.  Now a days people do not want to take responsibility for there actions.  They don't want to do any thing for them selves.  And they don't want to help others.  I was raised to respect my elders, help others, and to be responsible.  I learned from all my mistakes.  Now people do not learn from their mistakes.  They just keep making the same mistakes.  And don't even get me started on how much certain people lie.  But I am a firm believer in Karma.  What goes around comes around.  I have waited patiently and have seen this happen many times.  You can only help  someone so much.  There comes a time when they need to start helping themselves.  I just hope I live long enough to see the Karma bus travel into town and visit everyone that is needing a visit.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

What Is This World Coming To?

     I don't understand what is happening to the world we live in.  Every day you hear of death and dying and war.  I feel we have our priorities all wrong.  First I feel we should take care of our own.  We have millions of people who are hungry, homeless, and sick.  But instead of taking care of them the government is more worried about taking care of people over seas.
     As far as the war goes.  I feel we should bring our men home.  The people we are helping will not change.  They have been killing each other since the beginning of time.  So bring our men home so they will stop killing them!!
     And then there is Warren Jeffs.  He makes me sick.  He is on trial for marring and sexual assaulting teenage girls.  He feels it is ok because he is married to them.  Really?  I thought it was against the law to marry someone that young and marry more than one.  He is the head of a group of brain washed  so called Christians.
     He tells his followers that the men should have at least 3 wives and the women should have a child once a year.  When the boys are old enough they have made them leave the compound so there are enough women for the older men.  Jeffs is said to have at least 80 wives.  There is no telling how many kids he has. 
      Why is it that he is above the law?  If your next door neighbor was accused of this he would be in jail.  But they are wasting tax payers money on his trial when there is no way he is innocent.  And now he has fired all of his lawyers and he is going to represent himself.  So you know this trial will take forever and that just means more money from the taxpayers.  When is enough enough?


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Are you kidding me???

     Our justice system is a joke.  I have been watching the Casey Anthony trial from the beginning and have come to the conclusion that if you are a pathological liar you CAN get away with MURDER.
     The jury found her not guilty of murder after only 10 and 1/2 hours.  They found her guilty on the charges of lying to the police.  So she will get 4 years for that and she has been in jail for 3 years so she will probably be able to walk away a free woman on Thursday when her sentencing is scheduled.  I am sure the judge will let her out with time served because she has been a model prisoner so she will get time off for good behavior.
     They never answered what happened to Caylee!!  I am at a loss for words over this verdict.  That poor baby was murdered and no one is going to pay for it.  Where is the justice?  And to add insult to injury her lawyers went across the street and had a party to celebrate.  And Mr. Mason had the nerve to flip off the cameras!  I don't see how any of them will be able to sleep at night.  So much for the saying justice always prevails.  In my opinion justice failed this time!  Rest in peace Caylee.  You are in a much better place.  Your mother can not hurt you any more because you are in heaven and she will be going to hell.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Missing My Daughter!

   Well I am really new to this blogging but I am going to give it a shot.  Not sure if any one will read it but maybe it will make me feel better about lots of things. 
    My daughter has moved to Canada.  She just turned 21 and is an adult but she will always be my little girl.  She has met a guy on the internet playing wow and he came here to meet her and they really hit it off.  She went there for 10 days and then she decided that she would move there in May.  They are engaged to be married now but they are not going to get married until next year.  He is a really sweet guy and I hope he takes care of her.  If he doesn't I guess I will have to get my passport and go pay him a visit.
     We were just starting to get close again before she left.  She had been living about an hour away in
Evansville.  She lived there for almost 2 years.  She moved back home in December.  So I got to spend a lot of time with her for about 4 months.  Believe me 4 months was not long enough.  I really miss her.  I think of her all the time.  We try to talk about once a day.  We can't talk more that that because it cost so much for international calling.  Sometimes she forgets to call me and I worry.  I try not to let her know how much I worry about her because I don't want to upset her.
     I have not been this depressed in a long time.  I am on medication for it but I really don't think it helps much.  My husband doesn't understand why I am so depressed.  But I can not explain the bond a mother has with her daughter.  I have two other kids that are boys.  I love them to death as I love my husband to death.  But just the thought of her being 30 hours away just drives me crazy.  My greatest fear is that she will need me and I will not be able to get to her because it is another country and I do not have a passport.  It scares the shit out of me.
     I have be spending a lot of time doing nothing.  I can not get motivated to do anything and I don't want to go any where either.  I am hoping this will change once I am use to the idea that she is really gone and not coming back.  Kenny, my husband spends so much time away from home.  He is either working or he is helping his family on the farm.  So he is not really here to help keep me company.  I feel like I have lost my best friend. 
     Well that is all for now.