Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Missing My Daughter!

   Well I am really new to this blogging but I am going to give it a shot.  Not sure if any one will read it but maybe it will make me feel better about lots of things. 
    My daughter has moved to Canada.  She just turned 21 and is an adult but she will always be my little girl.  She has met a guy on the internet playing wow and he came here to meet her and they really hit it off.  She went there for 10 days and then she decided that she would move there in May.  They are engaged to be married now but they are not going to get married until next year.  He is a really sweet guy and I hope he takes care of her.  If he doesn't I guess I will have to get my passport and go pay him a visit.
     We were just starting to get close again before she left.  She had been living about an hour away in
Evansville.  She lived there for almost 2 years.  She moved back home in December.  So I got to spend a lot of time with her for about 4 months.  Believe me 4 months was not long enough.  I really miss her.  I think of her all the time.  We try to talk about once a day.  We can't talk more that that because it cost so much for international calling.  Sometimes she forgets to call me and I worry.  I try not to let her know how much I worry about her because I don't want to upset her.
     I have not been this depressed in a long time.  I am on medication for it but I really don't think it helps much.  My husband doesn't understand why I am so depressed.  But I can not explain the bond a mother has with her daughter.  I have two other kids that are boys.  I love them to death as I love my husband to death.  But just the thought of her being 30 hours away just drives me crazy.  My greatest fear is that she will need me and I will not be able to get to her because it is another country and I do not have a passport.  It scares the shit out of me.
     I have be spending a lot of time doing nothing.  I can not get motivated to do anything and I don't want to go any where either.  I am hoping this will change once I am use to the idea that she is really gone and not coming back.  Kenny, my husband spends so much time away from home.  He is either working or he is helping his family on the farm.  So he is not really here to help keep me company.  I feel like I have lost my best friend. 
     Well that is all for now.